Belief


in a bright mood
is a beautiful thing
and I put
a lot of effort
into making
myself feel it
a tension gone
through the back
of my head
I think sure
I think of you
I find it in you
another reason
the seasons fracture
on a loop
and from
our balcony
in the past removed
we could watch
the whole
city vibrate
at the edge of
what my body is
a light that maps
a direct path
through it
the unarticulated
limits in
the brightness
at each corner
a tiny window
I watch the sun
sink back through
another gesture
pinned against
a photograph of us
when we were
younger we
looked like
lights gone out
beautiful and alone
when the stars fell
like snow
into our very
definitive
our very
thin language
what we leave
when we go
back through
the gate of
one another
when we lean
against the night
what we shake out
the heaviness of
what we’ve built
and who we’ve got
to be tomorrow
pull back
the ribbon of
a feeling
I think sure
a symptomless break
in the senses
a framework
I could lose
myself in
the gaps
that open up
between each
hour lost
in the resonance
I could fake it
a false death
between the teeth
a friction
that holds us
even closer
metonymic
field in the night
does anybody
actually know
love, does anyone
get it right
I don’t know
I get so ugly
push a memory
up against
the surface of
a felt thing
I get so close
to feeling like
I lost a good thing
draining into this
field of variables
turning away
the realest night
of my life, I couldn’t
find it, the key
inside it
was soft instinct
developing
like a cataract
on the back
of what
I want to understand
how I got here
pressed up
against the edge
of the morning
I can see
through it, into
evening’s black
channel laced
with artificial light
and I think fuck
I can fix it
I can fix this
here I am fading
away from
my friends again
here I am
blacked out by
indecision and literal
language moving
adjacent to a feeling
but a mood is
a beautiful thing
I said, and it matters
what you think
yeah it matters
to me, my friend
wrote it in a poem
that everything matters
at least once, and I
believe that
I really do
it gives me confidence
when the light goes
out and the night
retracts into a mute
pulse in the distance
I see starlight
and ambition
a fractured mirror
in a field of pills
a lot of things
I’ve wanted out
of this life
have actually happened
and that’s something
to be honest about
wave a golden
flag of intention
in a night sky
I could just fold it
and fold it
until the day
shines through, I
could just hang out
in the lobby
watching people
shatter like they do
they always do
but the point is
being vulnerable
is the best part
of being alive
the point is
I’m trying to get at
something tangible
about love and the many
frameworks we situate
it in, which is to say
I’m afraid of it
but look at the light
the way it
fucks your
face up, the way it
changes you